This will take time but I think I'm healing...

Looking back on the memory of 
The dance we shared beneath the stars above 
For a moment all the world was right 
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye 
And now I'm glad I didn't know 
The way it all would end the way it all would go 
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 
But I'd of had to miss the dance 
Holding you I held everything 
For a moment wasn't I the king 
But if I'd only known how the king would fall 
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all 
And now I'm glad I didn't know 
The way it all would end the way it all would go 
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 
But I'd of had to miss the dance 
Yes my life is better left to chance 
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance 

GLEEEE

Schue: I love my kids.
Goolsby: What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.

*exhale*

If you're a bird then I'm a bird.

*whew*

What Mozart and I are going through is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. Thinking you know that you'll be with someone forever and that thought being trampled on... but I made the move. I made the first shot. Blame me if you have to. I hope he maintains a relationship with baby.
If you're going to create a child there should be responsibility to that child in either finances or time.... I guess we'll see.
Things are rough but not hopeless.
I'm not looking for judgement or sympathy, I'm looking for some mother-fucking peace of mind.

Our memories 
Well, they can be inviting 
But some are altogether 
Mighty frightening 
As we die, both you and I 
With my head in my hands 
I sit and cry


"Don't Speak" -No Doubt

This is so hard..

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are.

Future Profession

So my bestie Meg and I have started a blog that will hopefully turn into a business. See, we love throwing parties for people and we're getting good at it... so while we work for free we'll post pictures of our latest celebrations.

Enjoy! It's my passion!

http://savvyphoenician.tumblr.com/

Not to be creepy but....

I was thinking of the movie Love Actually and it made me think of the funeral scene. Which lead me to -what songs would be good at a funeral... I know a little.. macabre? hmmm yes? Oh well. Here are my "If you have any influence in 75 years when I die from chocolate induced diabetic coma, please play one of this...or like-minded music."

Death Cab for Cutie-I will follow you into the dark
http://youtu.be/j6XZsau7CSk

Beatles- Yesterday
http://youtu.be/XNnaxGFO18o

Elvis-You were always on my mind
http://youtu.be/DbpLU4oPV90

Regina Spektor-The Call
http://youtu.be/qgUL3ut4gyQ

Cat Power- Sea of Love
http://youtu.be/CbMeAOTPJzM

Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah
http://youtu.be/y8AWFf7EAc4

and if I put anymore I'll be super creepy. So maybe next entry will be, "Songs to have babies to" (not make...have) or "Songs to find out that your exboyfriend is with a girl hotter than you now, cause you ran into them at 2am at Walmart when you were wearing sweats and they were headed out to a fabulous party"

Attempt at Endurance

I don't know everything. I hardly know anything.

I need someone to be able to stay for the long haul. I need someone who can weather the good and bad times. I need consistent support and love. I need a friendly face. I need a person with compassion. I need a leader. I need a warm embrace. I need someone to appreciate what I'm doing. I need encouragement. I need someone to comfort me from my fears.

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." 
Marilyn Monroe

Oh Super Troopers...

Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun

Thorny: And his shenanigans are cruel and tragic

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

I just moved.

Completely refreshing.

I painted 3 rooms. 3 very different colors.

I'm so happy.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops.... high above the chimney tops...that's where you'll find me.